Walk Away
by soccergirly37
Summary: After hearing Chuck tell Raina that she was sacred to him, life turns upside down for the UESiders when Blair makes a decision that affects the lives of everyone; a decision that she may not survive
1. Lost!

**A/N: New story. I know I should be working on my Supernatural fanfictions, but this idea wouldn't let me. (: Enjoy!**

_Walk Away_

_Just because I'm hurting, doesn't mean I'm hurt-Coldplay_

Serena stood, the tears still falling down her face. After four years, she was back here, with the same problem as before, only this time it wasn't her brother. The pain in her heart felt like too much to bear. Blair would be okay; Blair would pull through. She always did. She still couldn't grasp the enormity of what Blair had tried to accomplish. Why hadn't she come to her? Why hadn't Blair confided all those negative feelings to her? Why wasn't she a good enough best friend? Blair always was so happy, so bubbly…evil and vindictive at times, but there was always a strong life force inside of her. Now…now she might not even make it through the night, and the thought terrified Serena.

_**One Day Earlier**_

"_You are sacred to me!"_ Dan froze when he heard those words leave Chuck's mouth. His gaze immediately settled on Blair, who—if possible—had gone whiter than her porcelain skin should be able to. Her brown pools showed the depth of what those words coming out of Chuck Bass' mouth showed the utter pain and heartbreak within her soul and heart. Blair was breaking, Dan realized. The strongest woman he knew, the Queen of Constance, the most manipulative, spoiled, self-centered, loyal friend he had, was breaking from the inside out. "Blair…" he whispered to her, panic in his voice as he realized that she might just crash to the floor without warning.

The arguing couple was leaving the room now, but after those words had been uttered both Dan and Blair had tuned them out. It wasn't until after the echoing footsteps had been silenced did Blair move. She felt sick, dirty, used. Those words once uttered to her, floated back to her mind: _You're like on of my dad's Arabians, rode hard, and put away wet._ Was she supposed to feel this way? As if everything she was, everything she stood for didn't mean anything? She needed to forget, she needed to purge Chuck Bass from her life, from her heart, and only one way came to mind.

Dan was shocked at how quickly Blair leapt from the room. He was unable to follow her once she hit the party, but he kept his frantic gaze searching for her beauty. That's when he saw Chuck, standing there talking to someone—Dan didn't really care who—and the anger boiled over. Chuck hurt Dan's friend. Someone it had taken years for Dan to develop a friendship with. He didn't know what came over him as he strutted towards Chuck, one intend in mind: Pain. "Hey, Bass." He called out, trying to keep the hatred from seeping into his voice.

Chuck turned and rolled his eyes when he saw Dan Humphrey walking towards him. Perhaps it was the pain of loosing Raina too that made him dismiss the look of rage in Humphrey's eyes. Big mistake. "What do you need Humphrey? Can't you tell I'm busy?" the annoyance was evident in his voice, as it always was when he spoke to the insect from Brooklyn.

"Good, then lets get to the point." Dan growled towards Chuck. Next think Chuck felt was pain spreading through his jaw while Humphrey's fist collided with it. "_That_," Humphrey emphasized, "was for Blair."

Dan pulled out his phone, not even worrying about a counter attack because Chuck was still rubbing his jaw. Dan knew it was a lot to bet on that when Chuck heard his frantic call to Serena, he wouldn't retaliate. "Hey Serena, have you seen Blair recently?" he asked, the look of panic in Chuck's eyes proving Dan right. Chuck wouldn't hurt him if it meant that he could get information on his ex-love.

"_No Dan, she and I got into a fight. Is everything ok?"_ he let out a sigh.

"Serena, she found some…"what was the right word? "Stuff out tonight, I think she's in a lot of pain. I lost her in the crowd but it looked like she was headed to the bathroom?" he said. "Will you go and—"

"_Shit!" _Serena exclaimed before hanging up. Please Blair, don't do this. Serna pleaded with her best friend mentally. Blair couldn't relapse, not now. She was finally in a good place in her life! When Serena opened the bathroom door, she knew her friend was in trouble. The room reeked of vomit. She found her best friend huddled on the ground next to one of the stalls. The tear marks were still fresh on her face, the sobs still racking her body.

"Oh, B. What happened?" Serena asked, pained at the way her best friend was laying there, so broken looking.

"Everything's wrong." Blair whispered, closing her eyes. She felt numb, surreal almost. She didn't even realize Serena was pulling her cell phone out. Blair didn't care anymore. There was nothing to care about. What had taken her years to pull out of that mother Chucker, he had said to another girl in months. Her heart hurt through the numbing and she could hear Serna's panicked voice in the background.

"I found her Dan. She's in bad shape. I need your help. I'm calling Nate. He'll meet us at her place." The sound of buttons clicking reached her ears. Should she care that Nate was being called? She couldn't tell…she couldn't feel.

"Nate? Thank god, it's Blair, she…Nate she's relapsed. I need your help. Meet me at her place." Serena hung up before Nate could ask her any more questions. She shifted over to her best friends side, helping to pull her up to her wobbly feet. "Oh Blair." She whispered to her best friend. She helped walk Blair out of the ladies room, when Dan appeared next to them. He put an arm around Blair waste, caring most of her weight so that Serena could shush and whisper encouraging words into her best friends. Words that they both knew landed on deaf ears.

Chuck watched as Dan left him after calling Serena. His first urge was to follow, but he knew he had to play his cards right. He watched as Humphrey answered another call and then made a beeline towards the women's restroom. _No, please God no._ he thought as he watched Serena emerge with an abnormally pale and sickly looking Blair Waldorf, practically leaning on the blonde for support. Jealously flared in his gut as he watched Dan place his arm around Blair's waist to help leave the party. He found himself following until he got the text from Nate. The one text that he realized meant he was out of her life. She didn't want him to be there while she went through this, but she wanted Daniel fricken Humphrey, Serena Vander Woodsen, and damn Nate Archibald.

**Emergency, have to help Serena and Dan with something. Be home sometime tomorrow. –N**

He needed a drink.

**A/N: I live off of reviews, just sayin(; I know the begging sounds a little Dair, but i promise it is Chair! and yes, i did feel some slight satisfaction with having Chuck get punched for saying that stuff to Raina. Just saying. Once again, reviews=lifeline(;**


	2. Set fire to the rain

**A/N: I do realize that Blair may seem a little...OC for this. She is normally so strong and brave and I honestly thought, after everything she has been through, she had every right to have a major melt down (plus its a good plot line) Enjoy! Thanks for the reviews! Also, I realize what the title might make my story sound like, but It's the title to a song by the Script. It is honestly perfect for Blair and Chuck(:**

_"All the things, you said they were never true, never true."-Adele_

Chuck sat silently at the bar, waving off yet another blonde bimbo that approached his side once again. his mind was filled with thoughts of Blair and her frail, pale frame being escorted by both Humphrey and Serena from his party. His heart was still stinging from Raina's rejection, and so he found himself cursing Blair for making him actually feel, recognize that there was such a thing as feelings.

The scotch in his hand was not doing its job, he thought as it burned its way down his throat. When had his life started crashing and burning? Sure, he was almost everything his father wanted him to be, successful businessman (_oh wait, didn't he just screw that up too?_), rich millionaire (_hadn't he gotten most of that money from dear old pops anyway?_) now single (_Had Bart been so proud of him for thinking of committing to Blair?_) He had given everything up for his fathers legacy as well as his own, and it still didn't count for anything. He had thrown away everything good in his life for what? To wind up miserable like his father with unstoppable mistakes in his past.

His mind drifted back to a time when life had been about three things: money, the pleasures money gave him, and Nathaniel. He smirked to himself remembering his high school days, the Pre-Blair days. So much had changed in his life, as well as in everyone of the Nonjudgmental Breakfast Club.

He closed his eyes and saw the pale face of Blair, as she was helped out by Humphrey and Serena. Why couldn't he forget that image? He picked up his cell and dialed Nate's number, needing confirmation she had arrived home safely. He knew that Serena had called Nate the minute Nate texted him. Life was funny. Brooklyn had taken his place amongst his oldest friends. He listened to the ringing until he heard Nate's voicemail. _Hey this is Nate. Can't come to the phone right now. Oh and of this is Chuck, I still need to borrow one of your ridiculous bow ties. Thanks. _Beep. He chuckled to himself at the personal message to him before he hung up, signaling to the bar and to keep the scotch coming.

* * *

><p>Serena laid Blair down in her bed as if she were made of glass and could break at any moment. Blair's eyes had continued to focus in and out, never filling registering that Serena and Dan were standing in front of her. "Dan," Serena started when Blair let out another broken sob, "what...what happened?" she glanced over to her stepbrother whose face was turning to one of shear anger.<p>

"Chuck Bass." he replied, the venom evident in his voice. She wanted to question further but then Blair was bolting up right. Her eyes filtered around the room until she made a mad dash for the bathroom.

"Blair! B don't do this!" Serena called after her, trying to beat her best friend to the door. She didn't make it. Blair had locked herself in the room, barricading herself from everyone who wanted to help her.

Blair starred at herself in the mirror, inspecting every inch of her pale face. What about her was such a bad thing? She put so much effort into her life, tried so hard to be perfect. Serena never had to try. Everyone always thought she was the most beautiful and prefect person there was. Obviously she wasn't a good girlfriend either considering Nate slept with her best friend and Chuck...she didn't want to think about that. _"You are sacred to me!" _those words pierced her heart one more time as her mind reflected back on them. A year. It had taken her a year to get him to say something akin to the words.

_"Three words. Eight letters. Say it, and I'm yours."_

_"I…I..." she pulled away from him. _

_"that's all I needed to hear." She whispered as she turned away from him, her heart heavy. _

She tried to blink the memory away. But more assaulted her mind.

_"Because I love you!"_

_"well that's too bad."_

Go away her mind whispered as the memories proved what she already knew. He had never loved her.

_"You held a certain...fascination when you were beautiful, popular...untouched."_

_"You're like one of my dads Arabians. Road hard and put away wet." _

_"it's just a game, I hate to loose." _

She let out a gasp at the pain that assaulted her chest. She had forced him into thinking he loved her. It's the only explanation for why they had never worked. It's the only idea at made sense in her mind. She looked towards the toilet, readying herself to purge out the pain she felt when another object caught her eye. It was small, silver and sharp. She gripped it hard, and watched the red lines appearing as she drew it down her arm.

"Dan, can you break down this door?" Serena asked. Dan frowned at the thought.

"I don't–"

"I can try it. I have a better chance than Dan over there." they both turned to see Nate, standing in the doorway, his face pale with worry for his friend.

Serena gestured for him to come over to the door, worry evident on her face. Nate stepped over and banged his shoulder against the white door. "this is a lot easier in movies." he growled until the door finally budged open. Nate stood frozen in the doorway as he stared in, Serena yelled as she rushed to her friend, and Dan was already dialing 911. Serena fell by Blair's side as she held her limp friend in her arms.

"Dont leave me B." Serena sobbed while Dan talked frantically into to phone.

"Yes, umm I, I'm not sure. Yeah, my friend, she, its just-"

"Dan!" Serena sobbed at him, trying to get him to spit it out while she clung to her friends body.

"My friend just tried to kill her self." he whispered into the phone, his eyes still taking in the blood on the eyebrow plucker as well as the blood that pooled around Blair's lifeless body.

**A/N: Hey look down there, there's a little button. it says review on it. I highly suggest you click it! (; yall are the best!**


	3. Her Diamonds

**A/N: OMG. I was like, AMAZED at the reviews for this story. Yall are the best reviewers ever! I feel so honored to be writing for yall(:**

**I'm going to start review responses now, and if you posted anonymously, then I will reply to you at the bottom. Thanks, and enjoy!**

_"Her tears like diamonds on the floor"-Rob Thomas_

Nate's cell phone started ringing once the paramedics arrived. He immediately sent it to voicemail, his worry for Blair not allowing him to check and see the caller ID. Blair. How had they let it get this bad? Blair-while eccentric and vindictive-always protected them if something was going wrong in their lives. How did they repay her? they let her go and try to kill herself. He closed his eyes, suddenly longing for the days back in high school, back when Blair had been queen and happy...ier. When had her life gone astray? he tried to think back to when Blair's life started going down hill, and only one conclusion came to mind and it sucked all the wind from his lungs: The Sheppard Wedding. Because he slept with and fell in love with her best friend. Blair had been happy. He was the reason everything was happening to her now. He watched, his heart heavy as the ambulance pulled away, a weeping Serena inside and an unconscious Blair laying on the stretcher. He turned to Dan, who was standing next to him, the same grim expression on his face from when the paramedics had arrived.

"_Blair! Blair please wake up. Please Blair!" Serena was sobbing into her best friends limp neck while she held her frail body. Nate was frozen in the doorway, nauseated at the sight of all the blood. Blair's blood. Blair's blood resided on the floor in front of him. _Because she tried to kill herself_. those were the only thoughts that he could understand and comprehend. Dan was still talking to the hospital, but Nate had tuned him out. He felt like he was going to be sick. _

_He couldn't move until the paramedics shoved him out of the way in their attempts to get to Blair. Her face is so pale, he realized. Her eyes gazed lifelessly up at Serena while the paramedics started to perform CPR to keep her heart beating. Serena was still wailing, for Blair to wake up, to say something._

"Nate!" Nate was pulled from the horrific memory by Dan shouting his name. He knew there were tears in his eyes, just as there were tears in Dan's. Blair may be a bitch, but they would both defend and fight for her no matter what. "I need you to stay focused Nate." Dan asked, but Nate could hear the true plead behind the words. _I need you to be there for Blair. _

"I-I should call Chuck. He'd want-"

"No'" Dan cut him off. He gave Dan a quizzical look.

Dan sighed. How could he explain to Chuck's best friend that Blair did this because of Chuck Bass? "Nate, I...I can't go into major detail here, but...I think this is Chuck's fault." Dan said, his anger rising as he remembered Chuck's words to the bitch Raina that push Blair down this path.

"He'd want to know. I really should call him..." Nate was torn between loyalty to Chuck and the worry of what had happened between Blair and Chuck this time.

Dan let out another sigh, and rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact with Nate for a moment. When he finally turned his gaze back to Nate, Nate saw the uncontrolled anger towards his best friend in Dan's eyes. _What the hell happened? _Nate wondered. "If you call him Nate, I'll make sure neither of you are allowed to see or even be near her. I swear if you even think of calling him, I'll punch you in the face." Dan growled before turning and walking towards the street to hail a cab to take him to the hospital. Nate just followed, planning on contacting Chuck later.

* * *

><p>Blair felt the darkness swirling around her mind. It was like a physical being, one that was as oppressive and dangerous as...someone in her life. Normally she would have fought, but the pain was too much. Her heart hurt, and she couldn't bring herself to want to face anything anymore. It was too much. It was all too much. The memories tugged at her mind, words said in hate and hurt. Words that she now reflected had been the truth. He had never wanted <em>her<em>, only her body. He only wanted the feelings her body provided his. She was nothing but a lap dog that he called upon in a moment of need and she, blindly in love, would give him what he wanted. Her mind flinched at the pain of this revelation, and once again, the blindness of unconsciousness encompassed her mind.

* * *

><p>It was well past noon the day after the party and Chuck stood inside the Waldorph penthouse, wondering why it was so hard for him to walk up the stairs. He had spent the whole night out, drinking to his hearts content, but even that didn't lull the ache he felt in his heart.<p>

He needed to see her, he had realized in his drunken haze. She would tell him that everything would be okay, she would mend his wounded pride and hurt. She was his salvation. He walked towards the steps, only to stop when a teary eyed Dorota came rushing down the stairs, a few of Blairs things in her hands. She froze when she saw him. "Mr. Chuck? Why you no with Miss Blair?" Dorota asked, confusion evident in her teary eyes. Chuck couldn't help but wonder why Dorota would ask such a thing, considering all he seemed to do was hurt her.

"Never mind. You visit her later, hmm? Mr. Nate and Mr. Dan and Miss Serena with her now." Dorota asked and Chuck felt his heart drop. Of course, she wold be out wit her new best friends today. He wasn't needed in her life anymore. She didn't care about him enough to be with him anymore. His heart cracked at the thought and he couldn't help but wish that he could finally get over the beautiful brunnette with the carmel eyes that could read through every wall he placed around his heart.

**A/N: Next chapter, Chuck discoveres where Blair is thanks to a conversation between him and Nate. **

**Review Responces:**

_Rani: _Thanks for your review and yeah, I started sobbing when I heard him say that and I was like, Blair go out there and tell him he's yours, but then she just sat there and I was like NOO!

_Kaya:_ Thank you!(:

_Kels:_ Blair will be okay, after some time has passed. I'm going to explain periodically through the story why she feels the way she does and what led her to her decisions.

_Emma:_ Thanks!(:

_Chair Fan:_ thanks, and I have to agree. That really took a toll on Blair and Chuck just made himself look like an ass.

_Gj:_ Thanks!(:


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